Lesson 04: Sila-e-Rahmi (Maintaining Family Ties)

Establishing good and better relations with your close relatives, living together with unity, walking side by side with each other in hardships, joys, sorrows and pains, keeping in touch with each other and visiting each other, maintaining relationships well and caring for each other, taking care of one's rights, showing kindness to one's relatives, giving charity to them, helping them if they are financially poor and weak, and taking care of them in every way is called Sila-e-Rahmi (maintaining family ties), while not fulfilling the rights of close relatives and neglecting them is called Qat-e-Rahmi (breaking family ties). Allah has declared those who Qat-e-Rahmi as losers. On the Day of Resurrection, one will be asked about Sila-e-Rahmi.

From the life of the Holy Prophet (s), one gets training in Sila-e-Rahmi and good behavior towards relatives. The Messenger of Allah advised his Companions  to fulfil their rights with the exhortation of Sila-e-Rahmi to the poor relatives. The Holy Prophet (s)  told Hazrat Abu Talha ,to give his garden to his poor relatives. So he divided that garden among his loved ones and his uncle's sons. (Sahih al-Bukhari: 2769) 

An example of the Holy Prophet's (s) good manners and Sila-e-Rahmi is also that whoever wanted to break relationship with him, he used to tie up with him. If someone wants to maintain a relationship, then maintaining a relationship with him is not a difficult task, the difficult thing is to keep the one who breaks the relationship with you.

The Holy Prophet says :

''My Lord has commanded me nine  things. In secret and in public, fear Allah in every situation, whether in anger or in happiness, always speak justice, and in both situations, stick to moderation. I should tie up with those who want to break up with me and to grant those who don't give me. I forgive whoever wrongs me. My silence is based on thought, my conversation should be brimmed up with Allah's remembrance and my observance must be of admonition.'' (Jami’-ul- Usool: 9317) 

The Holy Prophet guaranteed abundance in sustenance and blessings in life  to the one who adopted Sila-e-Rahmi. 

The Holy Prophet said:

''A person who wants his sustenance to be abundant and to have a long life, he should have Sila-e-Rahmi for others. ''(Sahih Muslim: 6524) 

The Holy Prophet (s) strongly disliked cutting off relationships. Hazrat Abdullah bin Abi Aufa says that once we were present in the service of Hazrat Muhammad said, Today, no one who cut ties can sit near us, so a young man stood up from this assembly. He had a dispute with his aunt about something, he apologized to her and then he appeared in the service of the Holy Prophet .

The Messenger of Allah said:

''Verily, the mercy of Allah is not revealed to a nation in which there is a disconnector.'' (Shu'ab‍al-Iman: 7590) 

A person asked the Holy Prophet (s): Allah's Messenger , I have relatives with whom I try, to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me. Upon this the Holy Prophet (s) said: If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness). (Sahih Muslim: 6525) 

A person asked the Holy Prophet : O Messenger  of Allah, I have a cousin, and I come to him and ask him (for help) but he does not give me anything, and he does not uphold the ties of kinship with me. Then, when he needs me, he comes to me and asks me (for help). I swore that I would not give him anything, nor uphold the ties of kinship with him so the Holy Prophet commanded me to do that which is better and to offer expiation for my oath. (Sunan an-Nasa'i: 3788) 

After the first revelation, one of the attributes of Hazrat Muhammad (s)  mentioned by Hazrat Khadija  was that he used to make ties/relations. Before the declaration of Prophethood, the Holy Prophet  used to take care of his relatives and used to help them. The importance of Sila-e-Rahmi is highlighted from the biography of the Holy Prophet Jesse). We should also try to promote Sila-e-Rahmi and avoid Qat-e-Rahmi. Through Sila-e-Rahmi, mutual love develops between individuals and the family system gets stability Social peace is promoted and the society moves on the path of development. While Qat-e-Rahmi leads to mutual hatred among individuals, due to which the society suffers from various problems and family system is destroyed.